I’d been dating this really cool guy for about a month so, clearly, I liked him a lot. Well, you know me, I got a little excited. I’d been so used to the three (date) strikes and you’re out routine that I began to question if I actually saw something in this man or if I was merely impressed that we’d successfully made it passed the threshold. My girlfriends laugh at me all the time because they can’t understand how, over the years; I have been able spot very early on if I see things progressing. Therefore, you can imagine my anxiety when on date four (ok, not literally), I started overanalyzing whether or not I should be overanalyzing. The joys of being a woman (insert sarcasm here)!
Generally, women are ready for exclusivity much sooner than men. So when is it safe to assume a man is genuinely interested in progressing towards an exclusive dating relationship? Is it a conversation initiated by him or will there be signs? And what signs does he give her, if any, that it is okay to place all her eggs in his basket (no pun intended)? I took it upon myself to ask some very special men in my life to clue me in on when it’s safe to assume a man is interested. Check out the responses below:
He’ll Say It
John:
When a man meets the woman he realizes is worth it, that realization may come after significant experiences, maturation, or a sense of stability in his career. He must not feel swayed to stray. It is a belief that he will not meet someone better than the one in front of him. I think he will say it when he feels it. I’m different in the sense that I figure out everything in my head before I commit my heart. So I had already thought it thru. Hence, I have to wait and gauge when it will be the appropriate time to mention it to her. Unreciprocated feelings are the worst feelings.
Chris:
I would definitely consider this a general rule: if he tells you he isn't ready for *insert topic here*, believe him. In the same way, unless it has been openly discussed and settled, a woman should never assume the man wants to be, or will be, exclusive. And I suggest you don't wait too long to talk about it; if she is at a point where she is prepared to be exclusive, the longer she waits, the more hurt she may be if she finds out he's not ready. My opinion? There needs to be a conversation. Just in case.
He’ll Show It
Anthony:
Honestly, we are confused creatures and we often don’t know when we’re interested in progressing exclusively! From a personal view, I knew I was ready when I began to tell my boys that I’ll have to catch them on the next outing so I can hang out with my boo, even if it wasn’t going out anywhere special. To me that meant that I was putting relationships with my friends on hold while I took time to build one with someone else. If she’s an understanding woman, she’ll tell the man to not worry about it but if he insists on spending time with her, she should assume his genuine interest. But naturally, we won’t initiate that talk and the lady will have to. Most of us don’t like that pressure, but if we are genuinely interested, that conversation won’t bother us much.
Jaden:
Most men don't like to sit a female down and look in her eyes. Or wave a flag that says, "were committed!” You can tell in the time he spends with you. How more affectionate he is when its just you two. Does he bring you along everywhere. Does he take you around his friends? That is the biggest sign there is!
Hate to say it, but there is no definite answer. Every guy is different. Will his actions speak louder than words or vice versa? Your guess is as good as mine! Here’s what I can advise you to do: trust your intuition. If you feel it's right, go for it! "The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it." - Stanley Kubrick
Live, love, learn…and (have the courage to) repeat!
Generally, women are ready for exclusivity much sooner than men. So when is it safe to assume a man is genuinely interested in progressing towards an exclusive dating relationship? Is it a conversation initiated by him or will there be signs? And what signs does he give her, if any, that it is okay to place all her eggs in his basket (no pun intended)? I took it upon myself to ask some very special men in my life to clue me in on when it’s safe to assume a man is interested. Check out the responses below:
He’ll Say It
John:
When a man meets the woman he realizes is worth it, that realization may come after significant experiences, maturation, or a sense of stability in his career. He must not feel swayed to stray. It is a belief that he will not meet someone better than the one in front of him. I think he will say it when he feels it. I’m different in the sense that I figure out everything in my head before I commit my heart. So I had already thought it thru. Hence, I have to wait and gauge when it will be the appropriate time to mention it to her. Unreciprocated feelings are the worst feelings.
Chris:
I would definitely consider this a general rule: if he tells you he isn't ready for *insert topic here*, believe him. In the same way, unless it has been openly discussed and settled, a woman should never assume the man wants to be, or will be, exclusive. And I suggest you don't wait too long to talk about it; if she is at a point where she is prepared to be exclusive, the longer she waits, the more hurt she may be if she finds out he's not ready. My opinion? There needs to be a conversation. Just in case.
He’ll Show It
Anthony:
Honestly, we are confused creatures and we often don’t know when we’re interested in progressing exclusively! From a personal view, I knew I was ready when I began to tell my boys that I’ll have to catch them on the next outing so I can hang out with my boo, even if it wasn’t going out anywhere special. To me that meant that I was putting relationships with my friends on hold while I took time to build one with someone else. If she’s an understanding woman, she’ll tell the man to not worry about it but if he insists on spending time with her, she should assume his genuine interest. But naturally, we won’t initiate that talk and the lady will have to. Most of us don’t like that pressure, but if we are genuinely interested, that conversation won’t bother us much.
Jaden:
Most men don't like to sit a female down and look in her eyes. Or wave a flag that says, "were committed!” You can tell in the time he spends with you. How more affectionate he is when its just you two. Does he bring you along everywhere. Does he take you around his friends? That is the biggest sign there is!
Hate to say it, but there is no definite answer. Every guy is different. Will his actions speak louder than words or vice versa? Your guess is as good as mine! Here’s what I can advise you to do: trust your intuition. If you feel it's right, go for it! "The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it." - Stanley Kubrick
Live, love, learn…and (have the courage to) repeat!
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