If the year 2008 was the year of new beginnings, then, my goodness, a CHANGE has come!
I challenge you to EMBRACE the new people and experiences that have come your way and still await you. To those who've lost people thought to be around for a lifetime, be cognizant of the purpose they served in your life and the direction in which they helped guide your next steps. Whether it resulted from your decision or someone else’s, invest with the change that you’ve received and make a sincere effort to let go of anything that no longer makes sense to your progression.
Author Alan Cohen once said, “It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.”
I hope that every new beginning that has sprung into your life this year has made you a stronger, wiser and better individual. For those who LIVE, LOVE, LEARN and have the courage to repeat the process, I wish you many blessings in the New Year!
Song for thought: "Love Brings Change," Jamie Foxx
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
The Demise of Dating (NY Times)
December 13, 2008
OP-ED COLUMNIST
The Demise of Dating
New York Times
CHARLES M. BLOW
The paradigm has shifted. Dating is dated. Hooking up is here to stay.
(For those over 30 years old: hooking up is a casual sexual encounter with no expectation of future emotional commitment. Think of it as a one-night stand with someone you know.)
According to a report released this spring by Child Trends, a Washington research group, there are now more high school seniors saying that they never date than seniors who say that they date frequently. Apparently, it’s all about the hookup.
When I first heard about hooking up years ago, I figured that it was a fad that would soon fizzle. I was wrong. It seems to be becoming the norm.
I should point out that just because more young people seem to be hooking up instead of dating doesn’t mean that they’re having more sex (they’ve been having less, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) or having sex with strangers (they’re more likely to hook up with a friend, according to a 2006 paper in the Journal of Adolescent Research).
To help me understand this phenomenon, I called Kathleen Bogle, a professor at La Salle University in Philadelphia who has studied hooking up among college students and is the author of the 2008 book, “Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus.”
It turns out that everything is the opposite of what I remember. Under the old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the person, you might consider having sex. Under the new model, you hook up a few times and, if you really like the person, you might consider going on a date.
I asked her to explain the pros and cons of this strange culture. According to her, the pros are that hooking up emphasizes group friendships over the one-pair model of dating, and, therefore, removes the negative stigma from those who can’t get a date. As she put it, “It used to be that if you couldn’t get a date, you were a loser.” Now, she said, you just hang out with your friends and hope that something happens.
The cons center on the issues of gender inequity. Girls get tired of hooking up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys don’t), and, as they get older, they start to realize that it’s not a good way to find a spouse. Also, there’s an increased likelihood of sexual assaults because hooking up is often fueled by alcohol.
That’s not good. So why is there an increase in hooking up? According to Professor Bogle, it’s: the collapse of advanced planning, lopsided gender ratios on campus, delaying marriage, relaxing values and sheer momentum.
It used to be that “you were trained your whole life to date,” said Ms. Bogle. “Now we’ve lost that ability — the ability to just ask someone out and get to know them.”
Now that’s sad.
OP-ED COLUMNIST
The Demise of Dating
New York Times
CHARLES M. BLOW
The paradigm has shifted. Dating is dated. Hooking up is here to stay.
(For those over 30 years old: hooking up is a casual sexual encounter with no expectation of future emotional commitment. Think of it as a one-night stand with someone you know.)
According to a report released this spring by Child Trends, a Washington research group, there are now more high school seniors saying that they never date than seniors who say that they date frequently. Apparently, it’s all about the hookup.
When I first heard about hooking up years ago, I figured that it was a fad that would soon fizzle. I was wrong. It seems to be becoming the norm.
I should point out that just because more young people seem to be hooking up instead of dating doesn’t mean that they’re having more sex (they’ve been having less, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) or having sex with strangers (they’re more likely to hook up with a friend, according to a 2006 paper in the Journal of Adolescent Research).
To help me understand this phenomenon, I called Kathleen Bogle, a professor at La Salle University in Philadelphia who has studied hooking up among college students and is the author of the 2008 book, “Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus.”
It turns out that everything is the opposite of what I remember. Under the old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the person, you might consider having sex. Under the new model, you hook up a few times and, if you really like the person, you might consider going on a date.
I asked her to explain the pros and cons of this strange culture. According to her, the pros are that hooking up emphasizes group friendships over the one-pair model of dating, and, therefore, removes the negative stigma from those who can’t get a date. As she put it, “It used to be that if you couldn’t get a date, you were a loser.” Now, she said, you just hang out with your friends and hope that something happens.
The cons center on the issues of gender inequity. Girls get tired of hooking up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys don’t), and, as they get older, they start to realize that it’s not a good way to find a spouse. Also, there’s an increased likelihood of sexual assaults because hooking up is often fueled by alcohol.
That’s not good. So why is there an increase in hooking up? According to Professor Bogle, it’s: the collapse of advanced planning, lopsided gender ratios on campus, delaying marriage, relaxing values and sheer momentum.
It used to be that “you were trained your whole life to date,” said Ms. Bogle. “Now we’ve lost that ability — the ability to just ask someone out and get to know them.”
Now that’s sad.
Monday, December 1, 2008
World AIDS Day
Today is World AIDS Day. It is observed, this day, all around the world. While living and loving, empower yourself by learning. You have the right to know! Get tested and encourage a friend to do the same.
Be smart. Be safe.
Find more information here: World AIDS Day
Be smart. Be safe.
Find more information here: World AIDS Day
Giving Thanks!
To my readers,
Because of your continued support, I've been blogging for 1.5 years now (where has the time gone)! I'm very grateful for the opportunity to "voice" my experiences and those of others in a format in which I can be completely candid and at times transparent. Thank you for being receptive to my words and offering your support by reading, commenting, starting discussions and passing the posts on to your friends. In the past year, I have been featured on LavaLife as a relationship blogger (check me out!) and have had my works recommended and submitted for inclusion in Honey Magazine, Essence and Chicken Soup for the Twenty-Something Soul. Because of such a positively, overwhelming response, I've begun to even outline a book (watch out Carrie Bradshaw)!
I have learned so much about men, women and most importantly myself through "researching" and writing each post and because of your hand in that, I offer my sincere thanks!
Live.Love.Learn...and then repeat!
"Ms. Wright"
Because of your continued support, I've been blogging for 1.5 years now (where has the time gone)! I'm very grateful for the opportunity to "voice" my experiences and those of others in a format in which I can be completely candid and at times transparent. Thank you for being receptive to my words and offering your support by reading, commenting, starting discussions and passing the posts on to your friends. In the past year, I have been featured on LavaLife as a relationship blogger (check me out!) and have had my works recommended and submitted for inclusion in Honey Magazine, Essence and Chicken Soup for the Twenty-Something Soul. Because of such a positively, overwhelming response, I've begun to even outline a book (watch out Carrie Bradshaw)!
I have learned so much about men, women and most importantly myself through "researching" and writing each post and because of your hand in that, I offer my sincere thanks!
Live.Love.Learn...and then repeat!
"Ms. Wright"
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