Since the breakup from a five-year relationship, I haven’t had much luck finding anyone worth my time to date. All the guys present themselves to be the perfect guy, but sooner or later down the line, they end up being a waste. Valentine’s Day is approaching and, as a result, I’ve stopped going out in social settings at all. I just don’t have the energy to deal with losers and I sometimes question whether or not this grass is greener than my last relationship.
Anonymous, age 26
Milky Mess,
What you're experiencing is completely normal. You've been in a relationship for all of your adult life and although the break up isn't brand new, this is the first Valentine’s Day as a real single woman. The last thing you want to do in this situation is hide. For every few losers, there’s bound to be an un-spoiled one in the bunch. How the hell is he supposed to find you if you refuse to see and be seen?
Make it easy for him with these three simple steps:
1. Go to the craft store and buy some fabric paint.
2. Purchase a bright, solid-colored top and
3. Using the fabric paint, apply the following message onto the shirt: HERE I AM!
There is NO USE in crying over spoiled/spilled milk. I never understood that phrase, but let me try to make sense of it now. All of your ex-boyfriends can fall into the category of "Spoiled Milk."
In the beginning, it was what you needed, it was good for you to experience your ex-boyfriend because of the emotional growth spurt that you encountered while together (milk = healthy bones = growth, get it?). But, like milk, if you try to savor it well past the expiration date, you'll be left with a sour taste in your mouth. DISPOSE OF IT! No matter how good the milk may have complimented your cereal or fluffed your pancake, it's no longer healthy for you to consume and will leave a bad taste in your mouth.
All of your "subpar" suitors since your breakup, let’s call them all "Spilled Milk." Whether you wasted some of the milk or spilled the entire carton, apparently it just wasn't meant to consume the whole carton. That could be a blessing in disguise.
Remember, milk doesn't cost that much. You can buy another carton. What I mean is, it won't take much for you to bump into another guy. However, be cautious when shopping. No grocer is going to sell you spoiled milk. For the most part, guys will market themselves to be worth purchasing. Whether or not the milk will spoil soon after purchasing or if you'll consume it in enough time to reap the benefits is still open for discussion. But, that’s simply a part of the experience. To find out, you have to, at least, open the carton.
It's hard starting over, but it's necessary. Good luck. Have the courage to live, love, learn...and repeat!
