I came across an article in the Wall Street Journal today about what people hold onto and how they get rid of things after a break up and why. I, too, had a talking stuffed bear that I immediately dropped kicked off my balcony the day I found out my then-boyfriend had been cheating. Did it make me feel better? Yes! Did it change the fact that he cheated? Not so much! For nearly six months, I held onto emails written by another ex. I wasn't ready to let go and re-reading the letters surely didn't help. And while deleting the emails was the first step in nursing the wound, it failed at deleting him from my life altogether.
In the movie, "Waiting to Exhale," Angela Bassett's character, Bernadine, found temporary solace the day she cleared her husbands belongings from their house, placed them in his BMW, doused the car in lighter fluid and flicked her cigarette towards one of his most prized possession as she watched it burn in a blaze of fire. This was all done in response to him leaving her for another woman. It was a liberating scene that I'm sure got a lot of praise from the women in the audience. But does a break up, under any circumstance, warrant such a “heated” retort? And does it ever solve the real issue?
Before you go and "Bust the Windows" out his car, remember a Detroit woman's re-enactment of the notorius Waiting to Exhale scene resulted in an arrest on arson charges with a $3,500.00 bond. However you choose to cope, understand that throwing away/burning/shredding the evidence of a an old flame doesn't make the smoke clear any faster.
Read the WSJ article "The Post-Breakup Purge" By Elizabeth Berstein and comment below on how you best deal with a break up and how you dispose of the evidence.
Live.Love.Learn...and repeat!
