Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Love Rules! 10 Things to Ask Before Getting Into a Relationship

BV on Love
06.03.2009

At the start of any relationship, you want to be prepared for what is to come. The best way to do that is to know your partner and to answer some key questions that will pave the way to a healthy relationship. This is the time to be open and honest and, above all, inquisitive so that you can create a sound foundation. These questions will allow you to figure out if this is the right person for you before you invest your heart. It is always better to know what you are dealing with than to live in a world of illusions.

Love Rules!
Be the chooser and know what you want: Being conscious of the kind of person that would fulfill your requirements, needs, wants and desires is key to laying the foundation for a successful and healthy relationship. Q: What is your idea of an ideal mate? Does your partner meet these specifications?
Conscious Choices: Make sure that you are entering into this relationship for the right reasons. You want to be open and ready to embark on a new love journey and to do that successfully you want be aware of your choices each step of the way. Q: What do I want from this relationship? Why do I want to be in this relationship?

Relationship Status: Make sure that you are both on the same page when deciding to move to the next level. Q: What does Monogamy mean to you? Are you interested in a commitment? How available are you to have a committed and monogamous relationship with me?

Religion and Values: Do we share similar beliefs and values and do we respect those values that are not the same? Are we open to listening and learning about each others religions whether they be the same or different?

Family and Children: You want to make sure that you both have the same requirements about family and children before you get into a committed relationship. Q: Do you want children? How many? What style of parenting do we see ourselves implementing? What values, beliefs or religions would we instill in them? What is your partners family dynamic?

Financial Status: Knowing your partners relationship to money will allow you to see just how compatible your financial relationship will be. Questions: How much debt do you have and how do you manage it? What are your saving habits? What are your financial goals for the future? When do you want to retire and how much money do we need to save to maintain our lifestyle?

Sex: Sex is a vital part of a relationship so approaching it honestly and with an open mind will allow you to explore new heights of pleasure. Q: Can we comfortably express our sexual needs, wants and desires? Does your mate have to participate in anal or oral sex? Will pornography be a part of our sex life? How comfortable is your mate with having sex before marriage?

Health: Knowing your partners health history will prepare you to take any precautions necessary and will allow you to approach them as a couple. Q: What is your health story? Do you exercise? Are there any mental health issues? (i.e. depression, anxiety, stress) Have you practiced safe sex? Have you ever had or do you now have a venereal disease? Can we get tested together?
Identity: Truly knowing who you are and how you are around your partner is crucial to establishing trust and getting to know each other. Q: Do I feel safe with this person? Am I comfortable being 100% me? How comfortable is my partner with me?

Intention: Knowing why you have chosen to be in a relationship with this person and co-creating a future with each other will set the plan in motion. Be as detailed as possible and allow room for both partners to create a shared future. Q: How do we see our future together?

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