February 29th comes once every four years. Most of us know this day as Leap Year, but what I didn’t realize is that today is also Sadie Hawkins Day. Today is the day that men and women switch societal roles and the woman approaches and courts the man. It all stemmed from a comic strip called Li’l Abner, created by a man named Al Capp.
Sadie Hawkins Day is a fictional holiday that originates in Al Capp's comic strip Li'l Abner. It was a day-long event in observed in Canada and in the United States on the Saturday that follows November 9[citation needed], named after Sadie Hawkins, "the homeliest gal in all them hills." Each year on Sadie Hawkins Day the unmarried women of Dogpatch pursued the single men. If a woman caught a man and dragged him back to the starting line by sundown, he had to marry her.
In the Li'l Abner comic strip, Sadie Hawkins was the daughter of one of Dogpatch's earliest settlers, Hekzebiah Hawkins. When she reached the age of 35, still a spinster, her father in desperation called together the eligible bachelors of Dogpatch and declared that day to be Sadie Hawkins Day and that "when ah fires [my gun] all o' yo' kin start a-runnin! When ah fires agin - after givin' yo' a fair start - Sadie starts a runnin'. Th' one she ketches'll be her husband."
The town spinsters decided that this was such a good idea, they made Sadie Hawkins Day an annual event, much to the chagrin of Dogpatch bachelors everywhere.
Sadie Hawkins Day was first mentioned in the November 13, 1937 Li'l Abner strip with the race actually taking place between the November 19th and November 30th strips. It would prove to be an annual event in the strip. (Read more on Sadie Hawkins Day)
Today, ladies, is the day to burn your bras and grow some balls! Don’t be afraid to tell him how you really feel…what better time than the present? If it backfires, you’ve got another four years before you’re back to playing role reversal, but imagine if things actually work out in your favor. Good luck!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day?
Valentine’s Day is the internationally-celebrated day of love; the day that chocolate, flowers and an open table at restaurants are in high demand. But, let’s be real. After the flowers die, the chocolates have been picked over and the food is digested, what is there to show for? My point is, after the materialistic symbolisms for love have faded, is love still there?
After doing some research, I found that there’s actually more than one St. Valentine and that the association with lovers really stems from a poem titled, "Parlement of Foules" by Geoffrey Chaucer. “The story was set in a fictional context of an old tradition, but in fact there was no such tradition before Chaucer (Wiki).” Yes, you’ve all been duped! Of the two St. Valentines (and I believe there’s at least eleven total) honored on February 14th, neither of them are synonymous with love. So, now that we’ve established Valentine’s Day is just that, a day to honor martyred saints, what’s with all this romance business?
It’s so ironic to talk to friends that are in relationships who’d rather shy away from the commercialism created around the fourteenth of February and, on the flip side, have friends, who aren’t in relationships, insinuate wanting one on this day. Maybe the difference lies in whether or not you like or love the one you’re with…if you’re with anyone at all. The different levels of emotion cause for different types of rules. And with a certain sentiment and regard for someone, comes a more mature and realistic approach to the relationship and how it’s celebrated. If you simply like someone, a card and heart-shaped candy box might actually be all you need to convey your feelings. But if you’re in love, you’re probably (or at least should be) questioning why this day is different from any other.
If you’ve ever taken a literature course in college, you probably remember a German philosopher by the name of Friedrich Nietzsche. Thanks to my sister, my memory has been refreshed so allow me to refresh yours on Nietzsche’s theories on truth. In a response to his article, she wrote, "In his article, 'On Truth and Lies in a Nonmoral Sense,' he declares truth is not objective, but rather subjective and it is a device created by man, not conscious." In so many words, he stated that truth is something that we create based on individual ideals and experiences. Love is similar.
Love is a term that you certainly can’t unanimously define because it is an emotion, which means that everyone’s description of it will vary. Yes, it may be difficult to define what love is in terms of what it feels/looks/smells/tastes/sounds like, but I’m sure we can all easily describe what it isn’t. Love is not a game. It’s not like dating. There are no opposing teams and no one is competing to score more points than the other. There is no protective gear if you get hurt and there are no time outs. You can’t be selfish and you most certainly can’t be in love, in the romantic sense, with more than one person. Love is, however, a process and something to be taken seriously. Reflect on the following excerpt from a male’s point of view on falling in like versus falling in love:
“Why do fools fall in love? Because they never fell in like. It is almost like women (and men) have a habit of falling in love with falling in love. To ‘fall’ in love implies the ultimate vulnerability on behalf of an individual. To be ‘in like’ implies a sense of control over the situation. No one should ever intentionally FALL in love with anyone. Now, the natural progression of things SHOULD be that one fall in like, and grows to love. Nevertheless, when the first step is erroneously taken for granted, people FALL in love, just to FALL right back out of love. How tragic. Conversely, if one would simply ‘fall in like’ with an individual first, then they would grow to love, and even more importantly LEARN to love them. Ultimately, we should not be fooled by the trickery of modern-day pop culture and the emphasis that it has placed upon ‘falling in love.’”
Love is not something that needs an annual reminder. But should you use this holiday as justification for showing your affection for another person, maybe you need to reassess the situation. I’m not knocking Valentine's Day. I simply hope that love is commemorated as much today as it is on any other day of the year; that it is revered and considered more than just a mere tradition. For those who are in like, in love or who, currently, aren’t experiencing either one, remember: If you think love is a game, there’s only one rule: stop playing!
Live.Love.Learn…and then repeat!
After doing some research, I found that there’s actually more than one St. Valentine and that the association with lovers really stems from a poem titled, "Parlement of Foules" by Geoffrey Chaucer. “The story was set in a fictional context of an old tradition, but in fact there was no such tradition before Chaucer (Wiki).” Yes, you’ve all been duped! Of the two St. Valentines (and I believe there’s at least eleven total) honored on February 14th, neither of them are synonymous with love. So, now that we’ve established Valentine’s Day is just that, a day to honor martyred saints, what’s with all this romance business?
It’s so ironic to talk to friends that are in relationships who’d rather shy away from the commercialism created around the fourteenth of February and, on the flip side, have friends, who aren’t in relationships, insinuate wanting one on this day. Maybe the difference lies in whether or not you like or love the one you’re with…if you’re with anyone at all. The different levels of emotion cause for different types of rules. And with a certain sentiment and regard for someone, comes a more mature and realistic approach to the relationship and how it’s celebrated. If you simply like someone, a card and heart-shaped candy box might actually be all you need to convey your feelings. But if you’re in love, you’re probably (or at least should be) questioning why this day is different from any other.
If you’ve ever taken a literature course in college, you probably remember a German philosopher by the name of Friedrich Nietzsche. Thanks to my sister, my memory has been refreshed so allow me to refresh yours on Nietzsche’s theories on truth. In a response to his article, she wrote, "In his article, 'On Truth and Lies in a Nonmoral Sense,' he declares truth is not objective, but rather subjective and it is a device created by man, not conscious." In so many words, he stated that truth is something that we create based on individual ideals and experiences. Love is similar.
Love is a term that you certainly can’t unanimously define because it is an emotion, which means that everyone’s description of it will vary. Yes, it may be difficult to define what love is in terms of what it feels/looks/smells/tastes/sounds like, but I’m sure we can all easily describe what it isn’t. Love is not a game. It’s not like dating. There are no opposing teams and no one is competing to score more points than the other. There is no protective gear if you get hurt and there are no time outs. You can’t be selfish and you most certainly can’t be in love, in the romantic sense, with more than one person. Love is, however, a process and something to be taken seriously. Reflect on the following excerpt from a male’s point of view on falling in like versus falling in love:
“Why do fools fall in love? Because they never fell in like. It is almost like women (and men) have a habit of falling in love with falling in love. To ‘fall’ in love implies the ultimate vulnerability on behalf of an individual. To be ‘in like’ implies a sense of control over the situation. No one should ever intentionally FALL in love with anyone. Now, the natural progression of things SHOULD be that one fall in like, and grows to love. Nevertheless, when the first step is erroneously taken for granted, people FALL in love, just to FALL right back out of love. How tragic. Conversely, if one would simply ‘fall in like’ with an individual first, then they would grow to love, and even more importantly LEARN to love them. Ultimately, we should not be fooled by the trickery of modern-day pop culture and the emphasis that it has placed upon ‘falling in love.’”
Love is not something that needs an annual reminder. But should you use this holiday as justification for showing your affection for another person, maybe you need to reassess the situation. I’m not knocking Valentine's Day. I simply hope that love is commemorated as much today as it is on any other day of the year; that it is revered and considered more than just a mere tradition. For those who are in like, in love or who, currently, aren’t experiencing either one, remember: If you think love is a game, there’s only one rule: stop playing!
Live.Love.Learn…and then repeat!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The Relationship Life Cycle
There are four specific and vital stages that a product will go through from beginning to end, thus, it is called the Product Life Cycle. The dating equivalent that I will discuss shall be named The Relationship Life Cycle. The decisions made during the different stages of the relationship, or the prospect of one, have a significant affect on the outcome of whether or not your investment of time is profitable. The four stages are as follows:
Introductory Stage
In the beginning, you’re either trying to be pursued or you’re in pursuit of a mate. So what do you do? Check out the social scene and test the market. There is no pressure for immediate profit, which means that if you’re out, there’s no need to break your neck to get or give the digits. Use this time to be observant. See how others respond to your energy. Are you positioning yourself to be approachable? How have you packaged yourself? The best advice is to not show off, or give up, all your goods. Yes, the immediate profit will be in abundance, but the long-term benefit…not so much.
Once you’ve found a potential “buyer,” the introductory phase should be the most easy-going stage of the process. There is little to no competition from outsiders because all the fun is in getting to know someone new. You’re intrigued by the unknown and look forward to learning about the other person. Thus, in an attempt to appeal to each other, you may possibly spend more time picking out or buying a new outfit, hairstyle, make-up and scent to establish a “brand.” What you both don’t realize is that the brand you are creating is setting a standard that may be hard for the two of you to uphold should you pass the introduction stage. In this stage and in the other three, consistency is important.
Growth Stage
At this point, the public is aware of the “product,” which has now joined forces, and people start to identify you and your mate as an item. The sales volume increases, where in the introductory stage the volume was low. In laymen’s terms, now that you’ve established yourself as a hot commodity, competition, whether new or from your past, will start to show up and show out because they acknowledge your new relationship as having some worth! Ever notice that when you weren’t attached, you couldn’t find a good guy and the moment you snagged one, all other guys wanted to enter the equation and put their best foot forward? It’s no coincidence, ladies. If you’ve grasped the attention of a man, sooner or later all others will want to get a piece of the pie as well.
Fortunately, at this point, you are both comfortable with one another, but you must be advised, this is the most intense stage in the development of a lasting relationship.
Mature Stage
If you’ve made it to the mature stage of your relationship, you should be congratulated! In this day, and at our age, it’s rare. Reaching this stage means that you’ve successfully differentiated yourself from the others. However, any significant moves are likely to be mimicked by competitors to see if they can persuade you or your “consumer” to buy elsewhere. It would be wise to increase “competitive offerings” so that things don’t get predictable and thus, boring. Should this happen, the profit could drop significantly due to a lack of interest. Depending on the desired outcome of both parties involved, the joint venture could be very advantageous.
Decline or Stability Stage
Great care has to be taken to manage the product if you two have reached this final stage. It may be time to resolve the joint venture, yet, depending on if the relationship can remain stable and prosperous, through a mutually committed effort; the company may choose to continue to produce the product.
There is no time limit on each stage, and in some instances, you may skip from the Introduction Stage straight to the Decline Stage. No two relationships are the same, therefore, The Relationship Life Cycle should be used as a blueprint for some, but the creation, development and end result rest solely on the decisions that the two parties involved have made.
Introductory Stage
In the beginning, you’re either trying to be pursued or you’re in pursuit of a mate. So what do you do? Check out the social scene and test the market. There is no pressure for immediate profit, which means that if you’re out, there’s no need to break your neck to get or give the digits. Use this time to be observant. See how others respond to your energy. Are you positioning yourself to be approachable? How have you packaged yourself? The best advice is to not show off, or give up, all your goods. Yes, the immediate profit will be in abundance, but the long-term benefit…not so much.
Once you’ve found a potential “buyer,” the introductory phase should be the most easy-going stage of the process. There is little to no competition from outsiders because all the fun is in getting to know someone new. You’re intrigued by the unknown and look forward to learning about the other person. Thus, in an attempt to appeal to each other, you may possibly spend more time picking out or buying a new outfit, hairstyle, make-up and scent to establish a “brand.” What you both don’t realize is that the brand you are creating is setting a standard that may be hard for the two of you to uphold should you pass the introduction stage. In this stage and in the other three, consistency is important.
Growth Stage
At this point, the public is aware of the “product,” which has now joined forces, and people start to identify you and your mate as an item. The sales volume increases, where in the introductory stage the volume was low. In laymen’s terms, now that you’ve established yourself as a hot commodity, competition, whether new or from your past, will start to show up and show out because they acknowledge your new relationship as having some worth! Ever notice that when you weren’t attached, you couldn’t find a good guy and the moment you snagged one, all other guys wanted to enter the equation and put their best foot forward? It’s no coincidence, ladies. If you’ve grasped the attention of a man, sooner or later all others will want to get a piece of the pie as well.
Fortunately, at this point, you are both comfortable with one another, but you must be advised, this is the most intense stage in the development of a lasting relationship.
Mature Stage
If you’ve made it to the mature stage of your relationship, you should be congratulated! In this day, and at our age, it’s rare. Reaching this stage means that you’ve successfully differentiated yourself from the others. However, any significant moves are likely to be mimicked by competitors to see if they can persuade you or your “consumer” to buy elsewhere. It would be wise to increase “competitive offerings” so that things don’t get predictable and thus, boring. Should this happen, the profit could drop significantly due to a lack of interest. Depending on the desired outcome of both parties involved, the joint venture could be very advantageous.
Decline or Stability Stage
Great care has to be taken to manage the product if you two have reached this final stage. It may be time to resolve the joint venture, yet, depending on if the relationship can remain stable and prosperous, through a mutually committed effort; the company may choose to continue to produce the product.
There is no time limit on each stage, and in some instances, you may skip from the Introduction Stage straight to the Decline Stage. No two relationships are the same, therefore, The Relationship Life Cycle should be used as a blueprint for some, but the creation, development and end result rest solely on the decisions that the two parties involved have made.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Clean House
It’s the beginning of a new year, and everyone is making their New Year’s Resolution. A resolution is defined as a commitment that a person makes towards a project or a habit, which most often tends to be a positive lifestyle change. These commitments normally go into effect on New Year’s Day and remain until the set goal has been achieved, although many resolutions go unachieved and are often broken fairly shortly after they are set (Wikipedia). In 2005, approximately 95% of people surveyed, broke their New Year’s Resolution. This is most likely because people don’t understand what it really means to resolve something in their lives or what type of sacrificial effort it entails.
The year 2008, has been named the year of new beginnings. So if you've been practicing the same routine, expecting different results, with no avail, then it's time to say, "Out with the old, in with the new!" Starting the new year off with a new attitude and outlook on dating and relationships can be very beneficial. However, it may require letting go of some things and some people in the past in order to appreciate new things and people in your future. When a guest comes to visit, it’s proper to get your house in order prior to their arrival. This is the case when inviting someone new into your life.
Being a serial dater for the past few years, has granted me the opportunity to be unattached, and therefore, available to do what I please, without obligation to anyone but myself. If I wanted to date three men at a time, my relationship status gave me the right to do so. If I was out with one guy and bumped into someone else whom I was dating, I didn’t have to worry about offending either guy because it was clear that there was no commitment between us. But when you make the resolution to date one person seriously, you’ve got to break out of the habits pertaining to your single lifestyle. So in the new year, if you’ve decided to make a fresh change in your life, as it relates to dating and relationships, remember not to just sweep the dust under the rug, but to really clean your house! The process is fairly simple once you find someone worth cleaning for.
RECOGNIZE
The first step is recognizing and accepting the clutter that may stand in your way. Identifying what or who has “funked up” your relationships in the past will allow you to prevent from it or them from disturbing things later on down the line. Start with yourself. For example, if you’re a social butterfly with lots of charm and the gift of gab, stop denying that you’re a flirt! While you’re natural flirtatious appeal may open the door to meeting others, once in a relationship, you have to be cognizant to turn off that lure as not to open more than one door at a time. What may be acceptable as a single woman may be inappropriate once you’ve decided to date someone exclusively.
RECONCILE
The second step to cleaning your house is reconciling with those in your past. You cannot start anew if you have not reconciled your past. We’re all familiar with the phrase that some people are in your life for a “reason, season or lifetime,” and it is at this point of your life that you should decide the purpose of each person with whom you surround yourself. After re-evaluating their intention, it may force you to keep them close, at a distance or sever ties altogether. Often times we find ourselves holding on to things and people, yet they are the very obstacles that keep us from moving forward. Being in a relationship in your twenties means more than just monogamy, it’s a mature decision that requires a lot of thought and consideration between two people. It is very much a compromise of two characters and both parties need to feel comfortable with the partnership.
RECOMPENSE
Lastly, after recognizing and reconciling, it’s time for recompensing. A reward comes to those who unselfishly give of themselves to others. A relationship will have its ups and downs and there will most certainly be trying times, but if you give it your best effort, the return can be quite worthwhile. Good luck and Happy New Year!
The year 2008, has been named the year of new beginnings. So if you've been practicing the same routine, expecting different results, with no avail, then it's time to say, "Out with the old, in with the new!" Starting the new year off with a new attitude and outlook on dating and relationships can be very beneficial. However, it may require letting go of some things and some people in the past in order to appreciate new things and people in your future. When a guest comes to visit, it’s proper to get your house in order prior to their arrival. This is the case when inviting someone new into your life.
Being a serial dater for the past few years, has granted me the opportunity to be unattached, and therefore, available to do what I please, without obligation to anyone but myself. If I wanted to date three men at a time, my relationship status gave me the right to do so. If I was out with one guy and bumped into someone else whom I was dating, I didn’t have to worry about offending either guy because it was clear that there was no commitment between us. But when you make the resolution to date one person seriously, you’ve got to break out of the habits pertaining to your single lifestyle. So in the new year, if you’ve decided to make a fresh change in your life, as it relates to dating and relationships, remember not to just sweep the dust under the rug, but to really clean your house! The process is fairly simple once you find someone worth cleaning for.
RECOGNIZE
The first step is recognizing and accepting the clutter that may stand in your way. Identifying what or who has “funked up” your relationships in the past will allow you to prevent from it or them from disturbing things later on down the line. Start with yourself. For example, if you’re a social butterfly with lots of charm and the gift of gab, stop denying that you’re a flirt! While you’re natural flirtatious appeal may open the door to meeting others, once in a relationship, you have to be cognizant to turn off that lure as not to open more than one door at a time. What may be acceptable as a single woman may be inappropriate once you’ve decided to date someone exclusively.
RECONCILE
The second step to cleaning your house is reconciling with those in your past. You cannot start anew if you have not reconciled your past. We’re all familiar with the phrase that some people are in your life for a “reason, season or lifetime,” and it is at this point of your life that you should decide the purpose of each person with whom you surround yourself. After re-evaluating their intention, it may force you to keep them close, at a distance or sever ties altogether. Often times we find ourselves holding on to things and people, yet they are the very obstacles that keep us from moving forward. Being in a relationship in your twenties means more than just monogamy, it’s a mature decision that requires a lot of thought and consideration between two people. It is very much a compromise of two characters and both parties need to feel comfortable with the partnership.
RECOMPENSE
Lastly, after recognizing and reconciling, it’s time for recompensing. A reward comes to those who unselfishly give of themselves to others. A relationship will have its ups and downs and there will most certainly be trying times, but if you give it your best effort, the return can be quite worthwhile. Good luck and Happy New Year!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)