It’s the beginning of a new year, and everyone is making their New Year’s Resolution. A resolution is defined as a commitment that a person makes towards a project or a habit, which most often tends to be a positive lifestyle change. These commitments normally go into effect on New Year’s Day and remain until the set goal has been achieved, although many resolutions go unachieved and are often broken fairly shortly after they are set (Wikipedia). In 2005, approximately 95% of people surveyed, broke their New Year’s Resolution. This is most likely because people don’t understand what it really means to resolve something in their lives or what type of sacrificial effort it entails.
The year 2008, has been named the year of new beginnings. So if you've been practicing the same routine, expecting different results, with no avail, then it's time to say, "Out with the old, in with the new!" Starting the new year off with a new attitude and outlook on dating and relationships can be very beneficial. However, it may require letting go of some things and some people in the past in order to appreciate new things and people in your future. When a guest comes to visit, it’s proper to get your house in order prior to their arrival. This is the case when inviting someone new into your life.
Being a serial dater for the past few years, has granted me the opportunity to be unattached, and therefore, available to do what I please, without obligation to anyone but myself. If I wanted to date three men at a time, my relationship status gave me the right to do so. If I was out with one guy and bumped into someone else whom I was dating, I didn’t have to worry about offending either guy because it was clear that there was no commitment between us. But when you make the resolution to date one person seriously, you’ve got to break out of the habits pertaining to your single lifestyle. So in the new year, if you’ve decided to make a fresh change in your life, as it relates to dating and relationships, remember not to just sweep the dust under the rug, but to really clean your house! The process is fairly simple once you find someone worth cleaning for.
RECOGNIZE
The first step is recognizing and accepting the clutter that may stand in your way. Identifying what or who has “funked up” your relationships in the past will allow you to prevent from it or them from disturbing things later on down the line. Start with yourself. For example, if you’re a social butterfly with lots of charm and the gift of gab, stop denying that you’re a flirt! While you’re natural flirtatious appeal may open the door to meeting others, once in a relationship, you have to be cognizant to turn off that lure as not to open more than one door at a time. What may be acceptable as a single woman may be inappropriate once you’ve decided to date someone exclusively.
RECONCILE
The second step to cleaning your house is reconciling with those in your past. You cannot start anew if you have not reconciled your past. We’re all familiar with the phrase that some people are in your life for a “reason, season or lifetime,” and it is at this point of your life that you should decide the purpose of each person with whom you surround yourself. After re-evaluating their intention, it may force you to keep them close, at a distance or sever ties altogether. Often times we find ourselves holding on to things and people, yet they are the very obstacles that keep us from moving forward. Being in a relationship in your twenties means more than just monogamy, it’s a mature decision that requires a lot of thought and consideration between two people. It is very much a compromise of two characters and both parties need to feel comfortable with the partnership.
RECOMPENSE
Lastly, after recognizing and reconciling, it’s time for recompensing. A reward comes to those who unselfishly give of themselves to others. A relationship will have its ups and downs and there will most certainly be trying times, but if you give it your best effort, the return can be quite worthwhile. Good luck and Happy New Year!
1 comment:
The formula for a new beginning sounds simpler in theory than in action.
Before the last few months i would of said the most difficult stage was recognizing one's owns shortcomings. However, reconciliation seems to be the most trying step to putting yourself in position for someone new, someone better. It's hard to re-evaluate your relationship with someone when all signs are telling you one purpose and he is saying another. Allowing yourself to be stuck in perpetual reconcilliation will hinder any chance at recompensation, happiness. Thus, denying yourself of your just desserts.
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